A Word to Believe In

A Word to Believe In

There have always been bad things here,
But, from my eyes there never was tear;
And just when I was about to give in.
You came along and let all these new things in.
I can see now all that I have missed out on,
And it’s a scary thing to not be alone.
I know that you too have had a run of bad luck;
For this is harder to believe, than it is to shuck.
But I also know that this is the way it is supposed to be,
Because for the first time ever someone has looked at me.
There are no words that I could say to let you see how I feel,
And there are none that can let you know that it’s real.
But I have my word, which is all that I’ve got,
I thank you for giving me this one shot.
This single, solitary chance to prove I’m true,
And for all the time, and emotions, that I’ve gotten from you.
You are a first, the first, to ever try to understand,
Therefore, I owe you the opportunity to know the man.
I may seem to be complicated, but it’s all I show,
I do that, because that’s the only thing I know.
I made myself to where no one could get to me,
And fixed it to where the lies, they could not see.
My eyes hid everything, just like they were supposed to,
But know that I could never lie to you.
Since you came along, you turned my world upside down,
I get lost if I think of you not being around
You mean so much to me and you did it in so little time
It scares me maybe I’m just losing my mind
But I don’t want to scare, so if I have, I apologize
This was something I could not hide
I know you may worry about whether my intentions are true.
But worry not for I could never do anything to hurt you
I’m falling for you faster and harder with every passing day,
And though  make it seem easy, but this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to say
But I just had to let you know, how I feel about you
And to assure you that I’ll be here as long as you want me to


Trapped in confusion

Symbol of Confusion

Symbol of Confusion (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Trapped in confusion

Got here by a mistake I made

Everything I’ve got has become jade

Going in the direction that I feel is forward

Trying to make a difference but get held down by the horde

Don’t think I ever wanted to change anything

I never tried to be a hero-ling

No different from all of you

Feel hate and pain through and through

But I merely revel in things like this

Speak but no one lists and it dissolves to nothingness

Nothing is spurious it’s all an illusion

Trapped in this clear orderly state of confusion

Up in the mind is where they ravish me

Increase suffering strip away reality

Forever trusting not knowing on my own

No reason no love just here to adorn

Down to rest my feeling I have laid

For some reason they just won’t fade

Pieces of me dying so I can stay alive

Always straightforward always in a jive

Killing the pain but only killing the man

Truly ad nauseam in the healthiest ad rem

Adoed admonition is truly an opus

Sounding salutary yet it is only adscititious

Intuition tells me to be mad still I smile

Humanity’s just a dream it’s all to vile

Cheer me up and always let me down

Forever searching for true adytum

Holding me down only hurting you

Fearing what you do not know killing Milieu

Ensconcing aesthesia from the aesthete

Too long you have done this treacherous feat

Broken state of mind under epimorphosis

Finding a way to escape with adroitness

Cessation will never arrive truly vertigo

Living eternity alone ner friend nor foe

Comprehend the words I’ve written without dis conception

Written in this is all of my erudition

Killed by my will not by my staff

Tis what I want written on my epitaph


Insane (2013 video game)

Insane (2013 video game) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


There aren’t enough thoughts

But there are too many faults

I think I’m going insane

Can’t you stop the pain

I can’t stop what I can not control

No longer do I have a caring soul

What have I gotten myself into

Don’t let it happen to you

Love me hate me shape me rape me take me make me you

I’ll create it destroy it care for it abuse it too

I know you know we know they know that it just wont show

Be free look and see try and fly just die hold on you turn me on then you go

I no longer can see

This world like it used to be

I live to die and I die to live

I don’t want it I want to give

Back to you what you gave

Because I’m on a new rave

No longer can I be

What you ask of me

Armageddon is near

Believe I might have brought it here

You took away my gun

Look at what you have done

Why can’t you leave me alone

Because pretty soon I’ll be gone

I’ll take away the same

You are driving me insane

Thanks (For Nothing)


Sometimes I can feel your pain

And I catch myself screaming your name

Often I wake up in a sweat

I feel the same as when we first met

But I turn and look and you are gone

And it is then I know that I am alone

But it’s just that these feelings I can not shake

And this new pain I just can not fake

But I’ve learned a new way to make it through

And then I’ll have my revenge on you

I thought nah just forget it

I am through with all of your shit

What have you ever done for me

You have given me nothing but misery

So you can see now my dear

It’s because of you that I am here

I owe you everything that I am

So that is why I now don’t give a damn

And you shalt pay for my sins too

Because you showed me how to be like you

What is Done

What is Done

All that I did, all that was done
All was for you, but for me was none
In your time of need, it was me you volunteered
And when I looked back at you; you cheered
Me onward to do those things, no one else would do
All used up, I do more, all because of you
In my time of glory, while I was not looking
Deep within you, you had a plan that was cooking
To deny me the rights that I so truly deserve
So I hope you are happy, you’ve gotten to my last nerve
I will give you what you want, just for one last time
But no more from now on, my true light will shine
It puzzles me, on why you would do so
But I care not, nor do I wish to know
All the time I gave and gave, but never did I receive
Until finally you gave me something though it’s hard to believe
What did you? You ask; you gave me my reason
To do this, what is done


Wanna Be

Question, were should I start
This one is going to hit close to your heart
You and your hypocrite ways
And your promises of better days
I guess I’ll give it to you
You had me without a clue
What I did, you contradict
You taught how to be perfect
Well that’s what I wanna be
Can’t you make into me
Teach me of your humanity
Come on strip of my insanity
Civilization rendered so many walls
Man made to many laws
You wanted me as your robot
Change me, take your best shot
Teach me of what is “Right”
Push me up to win your fight
Anger me up to see what I’ll do
Breed me to make me more like you

Feel your judgment passed
Your new power you can barely grasp
But somewhere it all went wrong
Taught me so much I learned to think on my own
My own concepts and beliefs I’ve styled
So now you labeled me as Belial
All that time I thought it was me
But you are the wanna be
Everything you built is based on sod
But there is only one god
Now it’s all clear to me
You’ll never become it, you’re just a wanna be



I know you hear me knocking, so why can’t come in
Oogh, I’d never lie to you, don’t you know that’s a sin
There’s a pain so far down, buried deep inside
So far so, so good, but how long will it hide
Oogh, ogh; forgive me for what I’ve done
Don’t you know that? You are the one
I am sorry, for ever hurting you
But why does it see, that your love wasn’t true
Girl you don’t have to run, won’t you just stay
My life is in ruins since you went away
Won’t you sit down, and talk with me for awhile
Was that a laugh, you know I sure miss that smile
Well what has happened to us, I used to make you laugh
But now you are gone, and I travel alone on this path
But now my words and memories only make you cry
So my curse is true, so alone I will die